By Gillian Reynolds
You never quite know what the road ahead will present to you as you walk down the aisle towards wedded bliss. Marriage is often a whole lot different than dating life and there may be aspects of your husband’s personality that you didn’t even know existed before you became his wife. One of those qualities is often arrogance. Some men are masters at hiding this part of themselves while they are busy sweeping a woman off her feet. However, once a couple has settled into married life, all those little secrets often come out into full view. If you are presently living with a husband whose ego is larger than both of you, that’s an issue that obviously you can ignore. Dealing with an arrogant husband takes
patience, measured distance and a deep understanding of what makes him tick.
Arrogant people are almost always lacking self esteem. This seems ridiculous at first glance. How can someone who comes across as so in love with themselves, actually feel any sort of self worth issues? It’s all about making up for their insecurities by treating others in a very specific and negative way. When you are dealing with an arrogant husband you have to truly understand that his issues have much more to do with him than they have to do with you.
If you want to cut him down to size you need to emotionally remove yourself from his selfish behavior. If he allows his arrogance to shine through when you two are out in public, walk away from him. Don’t become a partner to his mistreatment of others. If he prefers using you as a target to pump up his own self esteem, distance yourself from him. That may mean spending less time focused on him and more time doing the things you enjoy. If there’s no one to play into this type of negative behavior, your husband won’t feel he’s accomplishing anything by continuing to do it.
You also have to call him out on the behavior that you don’t feel is appropriate. This must be done in a very measured way though. Simply telling an arrogant person that you think they are arrogant, won’t accomplish much. They’ll take your interest as something beneficial and they’ll feel more important because you’re showing such emotion. It’s much better to sternly say to your husband that you aren’t attracted to him when he acts that way and you feel ashamed to be in his presence. This is obviously tough love and is going to sting when he hears it. However, it has the potential of really reaching his emotional core and making him think for a moment about what he’s doing.
Some people suggest that the best way of dealing with an arrogant husband is to give him a taste of his own medicine. Clearly, you’re not like him and you don’t want to become like him. It’s best not to get into these childish games with your spouse. It’s much better to calmly express your disappointment and then create some distance. This is a great way to get your message across in a way that is mature and rational.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you.
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